The Mudville Gazette
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Wednesday, March 17, 2004

Wanna Get Away?

You've had a bad week...

Your country is at war...

You've referred to an ally of your country as "window dressing" just before that country suffers a terrorist attack that results in a change in its government. That change will likely result in a loss of that ally. You, however, having declared them unimportant, can make no political gain. The whole thing, in fact, is way out of your league, as you have no real geo-political savvy.

Speaking of which, you recently claimed that "foreign leaders" want you to be the next president. (Actually, a careful reading of your claim shows you said they just don't want George Bush to be president.) No one believes you.

Speaking of Bush as President, you are caught referring to him and his administration as "These guys, er, these guys are the most crooked, you know, lying group of people I've ever seen" and try to back pedal. Your credibility is questioned.

But not as much as it is over the whopper of a fib you spout in Miami (of all places) about your "tough on Castro" position.

If you were John Kerry, what would you do?

He's going on vacation. A well deserved week off should be just the thing.

Sadly, he'll miss St. Paddy's in Boston.

Kerry's Irish, you know.

Sure and begorra.

He's only French by marriage.

His father's.