The Mudville Gazette
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Thursday, May 08, 2003


Washington (IP News)
In a development surprising to no one
key members of the Democratic Party lined up this week to demonstrate their complete and utter ignorance of how the US military operates, their contempt for members of said military, and their apparent lack of knowedge over the role of the Commander in Chief of that military.

Rep. Henry Waxman of California, the House Government Reform Committee's top Democrat, called for the General Accounting Office to examine the costs associated with the recent visit by the CinC to one of the Aircraft Carriers under his command. Democrats on the House of Representatives Appropriations Committee said costs could top $1 million. They included delaying the USS Lincoln that was steaming from the Gulf to San Diego, California, an extra day of air patrols, keeping the crew at sea, presidential security and flying the Comander in Chief to the ship.

Enfeebled Senator and Klansman Robert Byrd of West Virginia, the Senate's senior Democrat and a man who's "seen a lot of white niggers in (his) time", said: 'I am loath to think of an aircraft carrier being used as an advertising backdrop for a presidential political slogan.' Byrd opposed a resolution authorizing the use of force against Iraq.

However, in an apparent display of the effects of having been completely brainwashed by the President, the crew of the Abraham Lincoln appeared wildly enthusiastic and honored to be hosting the President. John "Skip" Lussier, the pilot who flew him there, was especially and obviously a victim of Bush's hypnotic mind control powers. "He was great," said Lussier. "Once he got into the brief he just started remembering. It was a bonding of aviators. When we got into the plane, I gave him the stick and it was like he hadn't left the cockpit."

Democrats acted swiftly and decisively to counter the "positive spin" from the Presidents sycophantic military admirers. "He started this back on Sep 11 2001 with that shameless appearance at Barksdale Air Force Base, and he's continuing the tradition of using the ignorant subservient military to this day."

"He's obviously just trying to keep up with daddy." Added a nameless Democrat. "That whole family really has fooled the military, what with all their service and respect for fellow service members. Also we can't use the term 'tailhook landing' too much. We don't want to say 'Carrier Landing'. There's never been a 'Carrier scandal'."

A non-existant yet clueless moderate Democrat did add that, "Well, maybe it wasn't that bad, but the thing where they had him meet the teletubbies out there, that was way over the top."