The Mudville Gazette
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Thursday, April 17, 2003

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(Baghdad, IP News) Coalition forces announced today that Barzan Ibrahim Hasan, half-brother of former tyrant Saddam Hussein, has been captured. This development comes mere days after the capture of Hussein's half-brother Watban Ibrahim Hasan, and brings the total number of captured Hussein brothers to one.

According to coalition forces, there is still another half brother unaccounted for. Numerous media sources are suggesting that lack of success in capturing the entire 1.5 brothers of the deposed dictator could spell complete failure for the war effort. The search is complicated by uncertainty as to what half of a brother remains at large.

"If you think that's bad" said IP News Baghdad correspondent MSgt Frank Lee Whompass, "it's possible that Saddam's been blown into a million pieces. We may never find all that."

These developments also contradict previously published media reports that coalition forces had captured Tarzan and Batman.