The Mudville Gazette
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Sunday, April 13, 2003


US to North Korea:
I'm sorry, we were busy a while there. What was that you were saying? Yea, I thought so, sh1ts@cks. (More about saber rattling tomorrow)

As Jessica Lynch returns to the U.S. for rehabilitation, NBC announces they are ...attempting to get official rights to her story but (are) willing to proceed with a script based on news reports and other public information, Daily Variety said Thursday.. Hmmm, imagine that...

Hey, just a thought, but if the people of Baghdad had spent their time and energy cleaning up the mess instead of looting would they have their town restored by now? Have the years of living under an oppressive dictator robed them of all initiative? Naaah, it's America's fault.
But oh well, at least it's not as bad as France. George Will stated on "This Week" that 40,000 Frenchmen were killed in post-WWII revenge/retribution attacks. This week's 'This Week' show wasn't yet posted on the ABC Web site. Will link when I can.

Colin Powell on BBC regarding WMD in Iraq: "There's strong evidence and no question about the fact there are weapons of mass destruction...We will find weapons of mass destruction." Sounds confident to me, and one would assume the Secretary of State would know.
You wanna know what I think about WMD and Iraq? (Too bad, I'm still gona tell ya!) I think when it comes to nations with children's prisons that's all the reason we need for a war. I've also addressed this below and recently enjoyed this column from Vox Day on the topic of what this war is all about. (Note: it's after the Garofolo part of the column.) And OBTW we'll talk about Sabre rattling and Syria tomorrow.

From Sky News (and you'll love the picture)
In the house next door to Saddam's love shack...troops found thousands of weapons. More than 6,000 Berretta pistols, 650 Sig Sauer pistols, 248 Colt Revolvers, 160 Belgian 7.65 mm pistols, 12 cases of Sterling submachine guns and four cases of anti-tank missiles all still in the unopened original boxes, were discovered. There were also tens of thousands of rounds of ammunition mortars and cases of old handguns and heavy machine guns.
Who in their right mind would keep that stuff near their mistress? And why do you need a mistress when you can have all the wives you want? And would you sit on anything in this place? And why can't I think up a good joke about 'how did the B-52's miss the Love Shack?'

And here's the latest on the flat-earth anti-war crowd, this report is from a French news agency. And they know a communist when they see one. (And always remember, organizer estimates of crowd size are inflated by at least one order of magnitude beyond anything remotely possible.) If I have time later I'll play with population percentages...

And hey, Ritter, Fisk, Bonior, whoever gave up the DNA samples...Thanks, uh...I guess...

And this via e-mail from my Baghdad correspondent, Master Sergeant Frank Lee Whompass:
"As I sit here on Saddy's golden dumper puffing one big fine fat cigar I can't help but think that even though I don't know Tarik Aziz from Adam, he just helped me fill an inside straight. So if I catch him, I will make it relatively painless for him, know what I mean?"

Sure thing, Frank!