The Mudville Gazette
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Tuesday, April 22, 2003



Washington (IP News)
In an unexpected development today
White House spokesmodel and international sex symbol Ari Fleischer has resigned from his position to "Pursue a lucrative career as a Male Prostitute."

"I plan to maintain an exclusive clientele," stated Mr Fleisher, dressed for his final press conference in an uncharacteristic smoking jacket and speaking through a pipe stem clenched in his teeth. "and please, it should go without saying, ladies only!"

Mr Fleisher fielded few questions prior to departing the briefing.

A well known reporter: "You are so damned hot... And smart, too! I ... am enthralled by your ... adorably handsome appearance."

Fleischer: "Thanks Helen. But for us, this will be goodbye."

TV Anchor: "You are so cute and intelligent..."

Fleischer: "Again, ladies only!"

Mary Matalin: "I believe he is the first bald man I have ever been attracted to!!!"

Fleisher then tossed her what appeared to be car keys and they departed the briefing.

This move makes Fleischer the first member of the Bush inner circle to cash in on newfound "post-war" popularity. Current odds favor Secretary of Defense Don Rumsfeld to be next.