|The Mudville Gazette|
Wednesday, April 09, 2003
NEW POLL RESULTS REVEAL MAJORITY OF AMERICANS MIGHT BE STUPIDAfter publication of my last poll results a lot of people wrote in to say "now we understand why you don't publish poll results." So here's more.
AMERICA (IP News)
Results of a new poll indicate many Americans may or may not be stupid.
When asked "Are you stupid?", 60% of Americans responded "no", while 34% responded "yes", and 6% were "not sure" or "other", although the last response was included as an option by mistake.
When asked "Do you know any stupid people?" 97% of Americans responded "Yes".
CNN and other large Media outlets responded immediately. "We've based our entire business plan on just this concept" stated a spokesperson, who then refused to provide details on their own intelligence.
A group of well known but anonymous Scientific Geniuses reviewing the data concluded that
1. Americans may or may not be stupid, and
2. Americans may or may not be sarcastic.
Further studies may or may not be conducted, depending on availability of lucrative Government funding.