|The Mudville Gazette|
Thursday, April 24, 2003
MILITARY REPLACES IRAQI FREEDOM PLAYING CARDS WITH POKEMON-TYPE DECKDoha, Qatar (IP News)
CENTCOM officials today announced they are re-tooling the now famous "Operation Iraqi Freedom Playing Cards" with a Pokemon-inspired deck.
"We've done a little research, and that revealed we were a little behind the times with our methods." Said a spokesman. "Today's soldier and the American public have moved beyond traditional playing cards. That's why we're proud to announce we've developed, in conjunction with Wizards of the Coast, this new Yu-gi-oh like set. This set, in addition to being more relevant, will allow us a much more robust list of "targets." For instance, in addition to wanted criminals, numerous items such as the priceless missing relics of Ur can now be depicted on cards."
Little Billy Jefferson, student at Hillary Clinton Middle School in upstate New York, stated "These are way cool. My "Ancient Crown of Sumer" card adds three hitpoints to the "Breath of Lies" card I just played on my "Huda Salih Mahdi Ammash" card. That stack just kicked Jimmy's ass."
Billy went on to explain how additional cards in much-sought-after expansion packs can be used to "evolve the basic characters into full demons of the ninth circle."
"But the most wanted card now, something every collector dreams of, is beyond a doubt the ultra-rare gold foil Saddam."
No word yet from CENTCOM or Wizards of the Coast on a rumored "Al Queda expansion pack"