|The Mudville Gazette|
Thursday, April 24, 2003
FRANCE TO U.S.: GIVE U.S. MILLIONS FOUND IN IRAQ TO U.N.Paris (IP News)
French Minister Dominique de Villepin today suggested that the U.S. could "legitimize it's involvement in Iraq" by handing over hundreds of milllions of U.S. dollars recently found there to the United Nations.
"Zis would serve several purposes," said de Villepin in an outrageous fake accent "it would help finance ze rebuilding of ze country by ze United Nations. It could be held as colateral to insure ze Iraqi debt to foreign powers is paid off as obligated. It may help improve ze standing of ze U.S. in ze eyes of ze world, and it would return the money to it's rightful owners, ze entire world!"
De Villepin's patently ridiculous comments were met with stunned silence by Senior Bush Officials. Democratic Presidential hopefuls, however, were quick to echo the sentiments. The 50 current candidates announced in a joint statement issued moments after the French request that "Mr de Villepin's gracious and magnanimous offer should be considered and acted upon immediately by this administration."
Former U.S. President Jimmy Carter, reached for comment while roofing a house for Habitat for Humanity, announced "The world needs that money! It's the right thing to do. I'm sure Mr. Bush won't do it, but it's what I would have done. I suppose that's the difference between Nobel Prize winners and the rest of humanity."